Where to begin.... UPDATED

I haven't posted as much this year (school year) as I normally do. It has been a rough year. A year where when anyone asks how my day, week, etc... was, I just say... same stuff, another day. I haven't wanted to even talk about it... complain about it... vent about it. Mostly i just wanted to shake it off and hope for better on the following day.

But this awesome mom, and educator, always mentions me in her thoughts... and not only do I appreciate it, but it makes me remember that even these days are to be remembered. So here is a long-winded update of this year as it is finally in the home stretch!

• Most prevalent on my mind is J. I had to look back through my archives to see when he came to me. It was towards the end of last year. I didn't write much about him when he came. It took awhile to "see" him. He came to me as this closed-fist angry child. He spent the better part of last year with his head down, little eye contact, and almost completely non-verbal, out of anger. Since the year started he had made extreme leaps in his behavior. Mind you, this kid is a genius. I'm talking IQ in the Mensa range. (read... true sociopath) He is beyond charming. He has tried for the entire year to be my equal. I quite enjoyed his company most days. BUT... in the past month, he's changed. He's become quite scary. Our relationship has not changed, but his relations with everyone else... including and foremost at home, have become extremely violent. He is in crisis. I have had meetings with his mother who is scared to sleep, and meetings with my administration who fear his presence. This week he left. After a psych eval he was put into a residential program. He was not happy with the diagnosis, but admitted he needs help. I packed him up, sent him on his way, cried on my way home. They will re-eval at 30 days and we'll go from there.
  
  
• Next is K. He has been with me for three years. He is the poster child for how well Bi-polar meds can work, if prescribed correctly, if taken regularly. He is the most loving, compassionate, smart, likable young man. When he is taking his medication. It is a medication that needs to be prescribed every thirty days. It can not be "refilled". His mother does not think it is a priority to see the Dr. every thirty days to get the new prescription. Off meds, he is the polar opposite of himself. He is mean, resentful, angry, and completely out of control. It usually results in his mother calling the police to "handle" him before she decides to make a new Dr. appt. It makes me sad that she lets it get to this point every time the meds run out. He has no respect for the need because of this. She has never made his disability a priority and therefore he will never either. He enjoys the recklessness he feels off the meds, he has no ability to make concrete decisions at that point and when he becomes of the age to make those decisions himself, I know in my heart he won't.
  
  
• T is fourteen years old. He is bi-polar and has tourettes. He is about 90lbs soaking wet and less then 5 feet tall. His medication changes on an almost daily basis??? A day with him consists of him sleeping, screaming, stomping, tapping... or... babbling, clucking, laughing and chattering. The rest of the kids want to hurt him... all day. It is a constant battle to stop the arguing, teasing and bullying. He throws books, furniture, and walks out of my room on a daily basis. He throws tantrums like a five year old if he is told no to something he wants. It is 50% disability, 50% manipulation. Mom always gives in to his tantrums because she has no idea how to "make it stop". I have no idea how this child will transition to the HS program. I know who is in that program, as they are former students. I fear he will end up in a locker (as it is the perfect size for him)... until someone cares to notice he is missing. Which won't be timely.
  
  
• Then there is A who has been "in-patient" several times throughout the year, whose only parent has also spent time "in-patient" this year... J, who thinks everything, down to his pencil, his "sexy", A.S., the pathological, ambiguous kid and R who is hanging on by some fraying threads.
  

I'm "losing" four to the HS program and gaining three as of right now for next year. One I know and am very worried about adding to the mix. The other two, I have no background on yet. This year has been one filled with such turbulence. Not only from my boys, but from kids outside of my program that I come into contact with. I have had to file a police report on numerous occasions, been the subject of a y@u t@be video while breaking up a fight, been verbally attacked by a parent whose child (not one of my boys) said some extremely disgusting comments to me, and last week I think I had the pig flu.

But, I'm moving on.... as I often say... this too shall pass. Next year will come and have it's own tribulations. And when I'm feeling like it couldn't be any worse... I'll look back and know that it's just another challenge, that I'll get past it it once again, find the good in my kids, learn from them and celebrate the positive.

So with that the countdown begins.... 31 days until summer vacation!!! BRING IT ON!


PS......


Updated to say....

I don't want people to think I have this horrendous job with really messed up kids. Cause it's not like that at all. They DO have problems, and they DO have very redeeming qualities and are good kids. ALL kids are innately good... they just have issues they need to work through to let the good shine. We DO have good days. We do still have fun. This year the days were just fewer than most years. It is hard, but it is what I trained for and wanted to do. It was my choice to work with these kids and I wouldn't take it back for the world. AND... I'm NO saint. Believe me I have my days where they frustrate me to no end and I don't handle it as best I should, but they get it and WE move on. I love that people commend me for what I do... but EVERY teacher should be commended, WE all are preparing the face of the future... that's no easy task!