This and that....

It's been a weird a two weeks. Two weeks of amazing highs and crushing lows. Because I'm not feeling rather "writer-y" I will just bullet post the events of my life as of late...

• The status of my co-workers has been in both of the high and low categories. We had the crushing event of termination letters where several of the people I love were included in that offering. For days we grieved their losses and had long conversations about the future. Sad conversations, fears abundant, and anger well deserved. Then came the Bd of Ed meeting a week later. Seventy-five resolved retirements, with 150 more expected next week. (Again, due to the fact that if those in the "age-range" don't put n their papers now, they will lose a significant portion of their retirement benefits as of July 1st) So this is where the high came into effect. The next day our "letters of intent" were handed out. In that bunch were some of my friends who received termination letters... One week later they regained employment. And with next weeks Bd. meeting and anticipated retirements, even more will have that sigh of relief... all things crossed! But again, with the low... my Principal is retiring as is my librarian (who is a dear friend) due to fear of what will happen. Both retiring while feeling pushed out the door. My Principal out of a need to retain his retirement status and my librarian because they decided we longer need their services. All of them were cut... sadly. I have no idea how a school district can run without a single librarian... *sigh*
  
  
   
• I've been really struggling with two of my kids. One because his out-of-school life is in a complete spiral into the depths of all things hellish. Two weeks ago, his mother told him she no longer can deal with him. She has "washed her hands" of being his mother. She told him in so many words that he is worthless, and she has no desire to parent him any longer. With that said she proceeded to contact his father, whose response was basically... "I don't want him either" and that was done right in front of him. He has become nothing short of unresponsive, and unreachable. Child protective services were called in, but nothing at this point has been effective or changed. He is lashing out at me and anyone in his path. I'm struggling with how to help this child in the 31 days I have left with him. He is nothing short of disrespectful, mean and sad. I go back and forth between angry with him, and completely sad for him hour to hour. I don't know how to help him. He doesn't want my help because he is so, rightfully, angry. It is a daily struggle to keep his life struggles in perspective, and meet the needs of the rest of my kids. The other one... well he's just simply become a pain in my ass. We have bent over backwards for this kid, trying to do everything necessary, above and beyond, to make him successful. WITH the help of his very concerned and right there with us parents. He just doesn't care. I don't know how to make him care. He makes me even more angry when I think of how much his parents would, and do, for him and he just couldn't give a shit. He throws it in their face more times then I could blink in a day. The rest of my brood is holding their own. They tested well... and I have high hopes that they scored accordingly. They are looking forward to all of the end of the year festivities while maintaining a good attitude and good grades. They are now aware that I will be leaving the position. They have made mention that they feel bad for the future kids that won't have me as their teacher. I can't tell you how that weighs on every part of my core. This is who I have been for so many years... so many years that kids from every grade level across the 24 schools in my district, know who I am and what I do. It is very hard to let that go. Some days I am over the moon excited for the future... and others... I can barely breathe with the thought of no longer being in that room... my home.  I know I need to move on, I know I have given everything I have and have little left to give in this job... but it is so much easier said than done. A piece of my soul will be gone on June 22nd. This job has changed the person that I was was once upon a time. It made me the person I am today, like me or not! So giving that up is scary... very scary.
  
  
  
• Did I mention that there are only 31 days left... How did this year go by so fast? The last 6 months have been a blur of sorts and I didn't even see it coming... 31 days. 31 days.
  
  
  
• Mother's day was a very good day. It started with breakfast with my parents and their besties. I Love their besties!!! The part-time job I have worked for the last 4 years is for my mom's best friend. She owns the most amazing baby boutique store ever... It has been a hard road of self-restraint over the years to not buy everything in that store... But I don't. I literally have not bought a single thing for Julia in the time that I have worked there... not without struggle... the clothes are amazing. Long story short... I covet anything S@rah Louise. Google it... I dare ya! her dresses are the most beautiful timeless girly girl creations ever. Well... On mother's day... my Mom's BF, my boss, gave me one that I particularly loved. White, hand-smocked, with the matching sweater that I "thought" was sold when I realized it was missing. She gave it to me for Mother's day... I cried. nuff said.
  
  
  
• I lost another friend to cancer last week. I haven't mentioned it until now. I still don't completely believe it. I didn't even talk about it, because the amount of loss I have suffered this year is out of my range of thinking. Seriously... I kept this to myself at work, because I fear people will actually not believe anymore that someone else I know has passed. Patty was my BF Kelly's roommate all through college. We shared many fun times together... including all the random college stuff and being in Kelly's wedding together. She told us she had cancer the month after Kelly's mom passed from it. She apologized...  seriously, apologized for having cancer at such an inopportune time. That's the kind of person she was... always putting other peoples feelings first. She had fought this cancer (brain cancer) like no one I'd ever met... All because she couldn't bear the thought of leaving her children without a mother. She has two daughters, age 5 and 7. The younger was an infant was she was diagnosed. She had numerous surgeries, treatments... but in the end, lost. Last week, on Wednesday she went to heaven. I can't even begin to understand the grief her daughters and husband have. I pray every night for them.
  
  
  
• Kelly and I leave on Thursday for a very long weekend in the Outer Banks... We plan to honor Patty and her Mom in many a conversation of good times had... I'm so thankful that we will have this time together to enjoy, relax and reminisce. We are both in need of some down time and girl time to cry and laugh over the events of our lives... I am counting the minutes until we leave.
  
  
  
• When we get back I will start the break-down of my classroom. I look forward to the the summer and the idea of a fresh start for the new year... a scary one, as the building I am in will "look" and "feel" very different from what it has been for so long. 

So... with that, Enjoy the rest of your week... hug your loved ones...
XOXO
~Kristen