Being Reflective...

Tomorrow is Graduation Day....

I can't believe this year is actually coming to an end. It has so far been the longest school year of my life. I am happy that it is over... and sad at the same time. We struggled through so much this year and the finality of it is a mixed bag of emotions. I always get sad at the end of a school year. My boys are with me for so many years that even though they drive me bat-shit crazy, I worry about the ones that are leaving.

I'm really excited that J is going to be allowed to come and walk through graduation. I last mentioned that he left to go to a very intense program out of district. Well his Mom came in to see me this week to tell me about his progress and he is doing amazing. He is not only working the program to it's fullest extent during the day, but she says at home he is a completely different boy. He is showing emotion, he is accepting of his diagnosis, accepting that he needs meds to make him the person that we all knew existed behind the anger. So I worked some magic and he will be coming in tomorrow... walking across the stage to accept his diploma... and I get to tell him one last time how proud of him I am. This alone makes me start to forget the trials of this year!!

One the other hand K has been off his rocker... again... no meds. I want to shake his mother. He was thrown out of grad practice today for punching T. Can I blame him... notsomuch, t was literally blowing on him to piss him off. I know the sheer torture of that... it's part of the tourettes, but seriously that kid has not brushed his teeth in about 5 years. Even I would throw a punch to stop that maddness!!! And without meds... K has zero tolerance... I pray tomorrow they make it through the ceremony.

As for the rest of them... I hope for some maturity to happen this summer. The newbies coming in are in for a world of change. My VP and I have come up with some new management strategies that will help ease my stress and put more of the responsibility back on the "couldn't care less" parents. I just feel like if they were actually held responsibility for some of their child's behavior... they would get more on board with what we are trying to do to change the behaviors that got them into this program in the first place.

I have exactly 4 days off before Summer school starts... that includes the weekend. I also had a momentary lapse of sanity when they deleted my somewhat administrative position in the school and told me I would be teaching this year. I was asked what I wanted to teach.

I. Said. 1st. Grade.

I've NEVER taught elementary school. My first thought when asked was that I just want some little cuties that want to hold my hand, give free hugs, and just love on... then reality set in and I was thinking about the fact that these little faces are going to be looking up at me on the first day waiting to be told what to do. I.have.no.idea.

It's an extended year program for the SpEd kids... notsomuch summer school... but OMG... Help!

I'm heading down to AC tomorrow right after work with friends... She will be there, we are going to try to run into each other! YAY!! I hope I get to meet her. She is one strong woman whom I'd love the chance to say I've met "in real" life.

Then I'm quickly off for one night at the beach in Sea Isle City... I few beach towns away from me, to hang with my friend Jane and her cuties Maddie and Connor. I can't wait to see them. I just saw Jane recently, but it was a girls night... so I'm needing a fix of the cuties. This has become a tradition of sorts. Jane used to live in NJ but then moved to PA, I met her through my friend J and 4 summers ago we sat on that very beach and discussed our plans to start the adoption process... neither of us knew the other was even thinking about it... It was a surreal moment. I would link the post but I have no idea when I wrote about it. She was the first person to "know" Julia's name. I can't believe it was that long ago. Maddie has been home for over a year now... she's amazing.

I was stung by a wasp last night. At 11pm as I was getting ready for bed. I had just washed my face... grabbed the towel off the towel rack to dry and POW stung. HURT.LIKE.HELL. I don't even know if I'm still allergic... I was so freaked. My heart was racing... I was sick to my stomach... I drank half a bottle of benedryl. Which I had to climb over the towel (with said wasp in) to leave my bedroom to go get. (i shut my bathroom door to keep him in while I did this) I came back into my bedroom put on my uggboots and proceeded into the bathroom to stomp on the towel I believed him to be in... he was... i flushed him. The welts have gone down, but I'm no less freaked having lived my worst nightmare!

Alright... off to enjoy a glass of vino and prepare for the tears that may come tomorrow on my last day.
~Night all