I guess I should be honest.....
I'm struggling right now.
I'm feeling insanely overwhelmed. To the point that it feels hard to breath. I'm finding it takes a whole lot of deep breaths through the day to hold it together. I hate this feeling.
I have so much on my plate at work, that the simplest things bring me to tears. I feel pulled and pushed in so many directions, and I can't stand it. I'm angry because of it. And the anger makes me cry. and I'm not a "crier".
I know it has a lot to do with grief, and I'm trying really hard to learn how to deal with it... but right now the added stuff on top just exasperates me.
I've actually tried to think about irrelevant body parts that could be extracted just for a "time out" or a hospital rest of sorts... ridiculous, i know... but the thought did cross my mind. Lol... sort of!
I know... "this too shall pass"... and I will feel better. But for right now, if I don't return a call... or don't want to talk about "how I am", just humor me and let me listen to your day, and forget about mine for a moment.
It does help for me to just listen and be present.
Thanks.
A little bit less of me!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
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6 comments:
Hang in there girl. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down but I totally get it. You have so much going on and you are still dealing with some pretty strong emotions about your grandmother.
Take your time, breathe deep.
Better days are coming :o)
sorry friend. We have sucky jobs...some of the time:(
I was thinking of faking sick so I could stay in my bed all day...
I get it. Work is the thing that just puts me over the edge. I am so afraid for this generation because their parents are so messed up. The pressure I feel at work is mostly due to unreasonable expectations from parents. Here the feds, the state, and my district have unbelievably high expectations for students, but parents are not on board. I wonder how they think these kids will afford to live in our affluent community if they do not get an excellent education and develop a work ethic.
That on top of dealing with Michael's illness and having our hopes and dreams on hold indefinitely just makes me want to leave it all behind. It's only by the grace of God that I make it through each day. Four and a half months until summer vacation. Nineteen and a half years until retirement!!! :)
it must be that time of the year... just hold on and it will get better.
BIG HUGS..
you will get past this..
thinking of you..
first: this is normal. and i think grief is playing a big part of this picture. you've gone from losing one of the most important people in your life to being thrown back into the rat race, without any time for YOU.
and that is what you really need. i hope you find some balance soon and can set aside some "me" time- a massage, a glass of wine- whatever helps you to relax and let go. you need it. and i wish i'd taken the same advice after losing my mom.
god bless you kristen. i'm thinking of you and wishing you only peace.
don't hold back those tears either- no matter what triggers them, they need to be shed.
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