Feeling the wait... and I lied, sort of!

Where I am... bullet style of course, cause it's the easy way out of being "writery" (yes I made that word up!)

• Referrals are coming out today. They accomplished matching families with LID's of 4/22/06 through 4/26/06. That's 5 days. Really? Reeeaaalllyyy? My ever optimistic brain is feeling very defeated. My spirit is on the verge of breaking.  I'm heartbroken at the news of this. I continue to hold hope that things will pick up, but I am shot down each and every month. I have such happiness for friends that are getting referrals, SN or NSN, but at the same time I am completely jealous, annoyed and frustrated with every part of this wait. It hurts physically.
  
  
• I had a fabulous weekend with friends where we hung out at their beach house (yes, I live at the beach, but it is not uncommon for some people to still have beachfront property in addition to the home they have that is merely >5 miles away!!!) anywho... we took all of their kids up to the boardwalk to embrace the summer "at the shore" that we relished as kids. Although, we were not partaking as kids... we were "working the boards" when we were of age. It's such a part of my childhood that I remember fondly. So I have such a fondness of being there. It's hard to explain. The "Jersey Shore" show that is on M_TV is a very exaggerated show of what we "locals" live every summer. They are the "bennies" that we loathe each year, but are entertained by all the same (it is an endless show of "what not to wear"... I digress again... I had such a fun time putting my niece on all the kiddie rides I once worked... eating the pizza that is to die for, and finishing off with my favorite K@rhs ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. 
  
  
• But the whole time I thought only about what it will be like to bring Julia there... to the place I spent nearly half my adolescent life... Every time I'm on that boardwalk it floods me with times of innocence, young love ( I fell in love for the first time there!), and incredible memories of my youth. I have such good memories of those times. Memories I hope to share with her some day.
  

 

The part I lied about is my current home. I didn't totally lie... cause I have found that I do love where I live and MAYBE want to plant some roots here.... I stupidly started looking at houses to buy. Stupid only because of the awesome rebate thing that is no longer available. But, I have found some incredible houses in the low $200 that I would love to purchase.... BUT, I re-signed my lease on my current dwelling back in Feb. It would cost me a lot to get out of that... and with the rebate gone, it is just not a good financial move. But seriously... the homes in the neighborhood I would like to live in are a steal right now. CRAZY CHEAP... I could get a 4 bedroom 2 bath house at 2100 sq feet for like 210K. That is unbelievable. Once upon a time... if you have been a long time reader, I was ready to buy a house that was less then 1000sq ft for over 250K in the same neighborhood. I drive past it often, as my BF lives a block away, and think to myself... Sucka!! Because now the prices are where they should be... and will only go up from here. It is a really growing beach area and it would be stupid not to buy in at this point... But I feel "stuck" in my current situation... we'll see. I have a listing agent sending me updates, and I'm looking into the fees involved in breaking my lease. WHY DID I LOOK????? It is just the added stress of what I feel like I can't have! Or stress of deciding if I am really ready to put down roots... I have a shelf life ya know! or so it seems! Maybe it's home ownership I'm missing in life....

  On a completely differently note... I have exactly two weeks left of school... real school that is... Summer program starts 5 days later... but YAY... 2 weeks. Scary. New. Job. ahead. It is hitting me like a ton of bricks. The actual breaking down of my class and the finding a new "home" is making me very anxious. When talking to my VP last week I cried again... I am very anxious. My need to find a home in someone's room has encompassed all of my thoughts. I need to have a space. A space to put my desk and just feel like I have a home. I feel very unable to grasp the fact that I will be using other people's classrooms. AND I have so much crap that I need to cart home and store... Hence (I think) for the need for a bigger home! I'm stressing over where to keep my "stuff". I have found a coworker that is willing to "share" space with me. She has the same schedule as me (meaning the same blocks off) so that is where I am sending my desk and shelf of needed accessories. She is already apoligizing for her inability to be neat (do I have that much of a reputation???) I really don't care. I will not be teaching in that room. I just needed my stuff to be in a place where I can be during my "down time" where no students are present. And since she has the same schedule... we will share down-time, in a quiet, albeit messy, place. I am okay with that... as I love her company. So we will be fine... stuff crossed!

I am looking forward to this summer like no other before... I will have EVERY Monday off... and I will be done with summer school on Aug. 6th... I have never had this much time off.   I can't wait to have so much time for me. My Mom already has some of my days planned with "surprises" that she will not let onto... I love surprises... so I am totally game for that!! BTW... I have a summer Bday, so that is where the surprises come into play! 

Well that's it for now... Have a fabulous week,
~Kristen :o)