Don't read this wrong... PLEASE don't. I'm NOT depressed or unhappy in any way shape shape or form.. I'm just currently very confused by my own self this week. I am generally an optimistic person by nature. I ALWAYS find the silver lining in life... But this is the best way to describe me right now. This is a perfect descriptor of me as of where I am and why I don't have much to say lately... (taken from Wikipedi@)
Ambivalence - a state of having emotions of both positive and negative valence or of having thoughts or actions in contradiction with each other, when they are related to the same object, idea or person (for example, feeling both love and hatred for someone or something). The term is also commonly used to refer to situations where 'mixed feelings' of a more general sort are experienced or where a person experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something. The word "ambivalent" derives from the Latin prefix ambi, meaning "both" and "valence" which is derived from the Latin valentia, meaning "strength". It is common to use the word "ambivalent" to describe a lack of feelings one way or the other towards issues or circumstances. A more specific and conventionally accepted word to use in this case, however, would be "indifferent".[1] A good way to remember proper usage is to remember that the prefix ambi means "both", so if you are "ambivalent", you have both positive and negative feelings towards something, or have feelings for both sides of an issue.
In so many ways this fits my current state;
**I'm single... but in a "relationship" that is by my terms undefined and uncertain. (I've been told I analyze this way too much)
**I'm childless... but two+ years into waiting for this adoption to happen with no milestone to cross anytime soon.
**I'm in a career... that I'm unsure if I am still an effective at and unsure of the idea of change.
**It's a new year... and I have no expectations of any thing great to come during it. (no big yearly goals set which is very unlike me... I thrive on achievement of any sort).
Anyone else have the New Year blah, blah, blahs......
Maybe it's just a bad case of pms.... HA! This too shall pass. Sooner than later I hope, I don't pull off confused well!!! and I'm sure I'm annoying most of my friends and family!
9 comments:
Kind of right there with ya!
Chris and I stayed up until 12 new years....but that was because we had to pick up the big kids:) New year has always felt a little over rated to me anyway....isn't every day a "new" day???
*sigh*
and I am sick of my new years resolution always being getting back the the gym.....
I laughed at that Mare...Thanks!
I forgot to add that I have still been paying for a gym membership that I have not used in oh... 3 months!!!
You're just in an in-between time in life, and for people like you and me that's a very uncomfortable place to be. We like things to be clear, so that we know our roles and what's expected of us. We like timelines. We like to make plans.
All I can tell you is, from my experience, that everything changes. This new year may bring wonderful things to you. I sure hope it does!
Hang in there.
:-)
I commented on someone else's blog today that this "waiting" thing we do feels like stepping in quicksand. Can't really move forward but can't go back either. Just stuck in this in between place. Maybe stepping in concrete is a better analogy...cuz we're not really sinking... just stuck. LOL! I think that contributes to the ambivalence.
We will get there girly..
It is long but it will be worth it..
Hang in there..
Try to find great things to pass the time..
Hugs..
Dude, this all means something big is about to change. That's how it's always worked for me. I don't know what's coming for you, but it's coming :)
PS - I didn't say it was something GOOD, but it's something....ROFL!
PS - I miss you - let's chat soon, wanna hear about your New Years!
I think we have all been there, I know I have. I wish I had words that could make you feel better, but I don't.
I'm with you and M.E. I am really going to try to get back in the pool. It's just so dang nice to sleep until 5:30! ;o)
By the way, LOVE my CHI! Thanks again!
Yup, I relate to a lot of that too. Even though the most amazing and wonderful thing ever has finally happened for me, there are certainly those other areas of life that just have me saying 'meh'.
Ah, the season of discontent.
This too shall pass and the fog will clear.
I think the whole country is entering into this sort of malaise...it's part of the recession.
I'm there too...my cousin just got laid of after 31 years! And I have to admit, I'm a little jealous...I am not in love with my job...I like it but not the people!
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