- Totally missed my 21 LID marker... oops
- work has been somewhat good... two of my boys are attending a partial mainstream program and totally holding their own and doing quite well, one is even in an honors algebra class and doing phenomenally. A new addition recently... "R" that makes me smile. He started with me part time and sadly worked his "magic" (really bad behavior) to be a full timer because I give him what he needs. A safe place to be, where no one is putting him down or telling him how horrible he is. Sad is my only reaction. I can hardly get him to leave at the end of the day because he doesn't want to go home to a place where he is not wanted. All this child needs is some love. I can give him that, and he is therefore attached to my hip and a completely different person. I have yet to see any of what I was told about him. The kid who was at least two hours late for school everyday, now waits for me to pull into the parking lot so we can walk in together 30 minutes before school even starts. He makes me remember why I do this job. I need him as much as he needs me.
- I started Wei@ht watchers two weeks ago. I'm down a lot more than I thought I would be already... It's exciting to see the lbs melt away. I'm totally motivated and going with a friend so it keeps the "competition" I need going!!!
- I'm bored with all things adoption. Thats terrible to say, I know, but I'm so frustrated with the waiting that I see myself taking a step back. It's not a bad thing. I'm putting my life back in the present and not putting things on hold like I have in the last 3 years. I need to start living for the present and just letting the adoption be what it is. Far off, but still coming at some point in time. No more anticipating a speed up and getting let down. Accepting that it will take quite awhile longer and being okay with just being me for now.
- On a side note though... I had a very random dream recently where I was somewhere, not China, under this large tent with hundreds of other people about to receive their children. They called us up in groups, handed us our files and told us to line up to receive our children. As I watched everyone in front of me being handed their beautiful Asian daughters, it came to me and this woman walked up and handed me this gorgeous little Asian BOY. She whispered to me "I know you wanted a daughter, but we decided to give him to you because he is very bad, and we know you can handle it" WTF... is what I was thinking... how can they consider this infant "bad" How can any baby be considered bad? So I took this little baby and walked back to my table and started to fill out the paperwork. He was really beautiful and very happy. But I started to cry. I only had ten minutes (they told me) to fill out the paperwork and the first question was ... what is his name. I didn't know. I've never thought about a boy's name before. I woke up at this point and stayed in bed for a good half an hour trying to come up with a name for a boy. I felt so bad that I could not name him. And I still don't know what I would name him and it bothers me... LOL! Any dream figure outers that can help me on this one.... weird... But he was so friggin cute, with all this spikey hair and dimples.
- I joined faceb@ok... not sure I'm totally into it yet... but fascinated all the same by the whole 6 degrees of sep. thing going on. So I'll stick it out for awhile and see how it goes. But good gawd.... who has that kinda time?????
- I finally had a snow day yesterday... 1st one of the year. We build them into the calendar so I'm always game for a guilt free, forced to be at home day. It was glorious. I never even turned on my computer... I caught up on a million hours of dvr stuff that I save for days like that. I never got off the couch...
- It's my Bella's 5th birthday this weekend... She's my ground-hog baby, so some celebrating will be happening.
That's all for now.... Have a Happy Friday and a GREAT Weekend!!!
4 comments:
I hear you on the adoption thing, I stepped back a while ago. Sometimes I walk back into the realm, but I always have my guard up. It's kinda weird, but refreshing. Happy Birthday to your Bella! Have a wonderful weekend too!
Perfect way to spend a snow day! We are on day #5. Unfortunately the days aren't built into our calendar. So much for getting out the end of May. In total this is our sixth snow day!
I TOTALLY understand stepping back from the adoption brewhaha!! I did. Jumped back in for a while and fell into the rumor trap, but I've jumped back out. :)
Miss you tons!!!
I can certainly understanding wanting to step back. I have done that on a number of occasion for survival sake.
I had a similar dream several months ago. I dreamed I was in VN getting my son, but instead, they handed me a 10-12 year old girl. She wasn't the China daughter I had imagined at all and I wasn't prepared for her. Nor would the US approve per paperwork, but the VN insisted I take her. I worked so hard to tell people about her because she was so awesome and by the time the dream ended I realized I loved that girl. She wasn't what I imagined or hoped for, but she was mine.
Sometimes dreams have a way of preparing us for things we could not have imagined and I think they prepare us for things that may happen. Perhaps you should start thinking of a boy name...just in case?
ooo-ooo - Facebook me! I've kind of dropped back on the adoption blogging stuff for now too (in order to keep my sanity) but I am a Facebook ADDICT! :)
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